


twilight moments with you

by a_sentimental_man



Series: it's not living (if it's not with you) [2]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_sentimental_man/pseuds/a_sentimental_man
Summary: They were in love with each other. It was obvious, almost not worth commenting.Yet - Matsuda couldn't help but observe, to see how theyclicked,to want what they had.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Series: it's not living (if it's not with you) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566316
Comments: 13
Kudos: 283





	twilight moments with you

**Author's Note:**

> okay so. i had a total of two hours of sleep, woke up, and wrote this in an hour and half, give or take. this is not beta read, as usual - so all mistakes are mine.  
> thank you so much for being patient with me and leaving nice comments on my fanfics, because without them, I'm not sure if i would have been motivated to post this at all. you guys are the best <3

They were in love with each other. 

Matsuda was sure half the task force knew - it was impossible _ not  _ to notice the way they laughed at something no-one else knew, the way they would look at each other, having a conversation that only they knew the meaning of. 

It was impossible not to notice the way they looked at each other as if each were the only thing that existed in the world, as if no-one else could compare. 

Matsuda could understand that - to know that your soulmate was near and yet you could not meet them because of something or the other would have been hard  _ enough  _ \- 

To know that they might never meet, merely due to the impossible and  _ literal  _ distance between them, would have been agonizing to know and contemplate. 

(Not that he would know. But seeing Aiko talk to her soulmate - Matsuda knew Soulmates were something precious, to be coveted at all costs.) 

(There had been a time when he had been unreasonably jealous of his younger sister when he was 18 and she got a Soulmate, something he himself had never had. He had waited, with bated breath for  _ years  _ until the day he turned thirteen, the crushing disappointment of not hearing a safe, comforting voice in his head almost too impossible to bear.) 

(There had been instances when a rare amount of the population didn't get their Soulmate. It was just that Matsuda had never imagined he would be one of the few.  _ At least he was unique in  _ some  _ way,  _ he had thought once, bitterly.) 

Matsuda, seeing L by himself, would have never thought there would be someone for him, as cruel as that sounded. L was too solitary, too analytical, too willing to take each and everyone apart, piece by piece, for his own amusement. 

Yet - looking at L with Light, watching  _ Light  _ with L - Matsuda couldn't help but think they  _ fit,  _ somehow. 

Matsuda might be a hopeless romantic, but he couldn't help but feel that somewhere, somehow, in every dimension, whether they knew it or not, Light and L always belonged together. 

It was in the way they bounced ideas back and forth from each other when solving the Kira case, what would have otherwise been a battle of wills, a sort of cooperation as both tried to outdo the other, only stopping when someone - either Aisawa or Soichiro - cleared their throat. 

It was in the stolen moment he had been an unwilling eavesdropper to, in the quiet of the dawn when no-one was stirring.

* * *

It had been a frustrating week for all of them, the Kira suspect being more elusive than even Light and L could contend with, combined. 

(Though Matsuda was sure L - and by extension,  _ Light -  _ knew more than they were letting on.) 

The Death Note lay on the table beside them, a gloomy reminder of what they had failed to accomplish, even with the information they already  _ had.  _

It wasn't long after, very late into the night, that all of them acknowledged that nothing was going to be done today - all of them were exhausted, and none of them wanted to use the Death Note to see the power it contained within, either. 

Matsuda, as usual, had left to his room with an unsettled feeling in his chest; no matter what, he couldn't help but think he wasn't  _ truly  _ part of the Kira investigation, merely watching dumbly as everyone else contributed  _ something  _ that made them sound intelligent. 

He tossed and turned in his bed and fell into a restless sleep, cursing as he woke up almost 2 hours later, unable to curb the restless energy inside him, though he could feel a lingering headache that only sleep could cure. 

Finally giving up sleep as a lost cause when he couldn't fall asleep in the next 15 minutes, he headed for the kitchen to get some coffee for himself. It had been about 3 am when they had all gone to bed and seeing the slowly lightening sky, Matsuda didn't need to have his phone to know that it was nearly six. 

He slowly edged the door open, careful to not disturb the occupants that were living right next to the kitchens. He almost kicked himself as soon he realized that all the rooms were soundproof; L was always thorough.  _ There's a reason no-one comes to me for advice,  _ Matsuda mused, surprised at the bitterness that was present in his own voice. 

He froze as he heard voices coming from the kitchen, undoubtedly that of Light and L. Matsuda knew that he should either edge away from the kitchen and leave them to their conversation or edge  _ in _ to the kitchen and break that conversation entirely, but something held him back, some part of him curious to know how they interacted with each other when no-one was present. 

"I must admit," L said, and Matsuda could clearly picture how L, as usual, was sitting on the counter in his customary position, something sweet - most probably a chocolate cake - in his hand. "I  _ am  _ a little grateful that the suspect is in Japan." He didn't need to say  _ why -  _ both Light and Matsuda knew it was because of his Soulmate.

"Will that make me a bad person if I said I am, too?" Light asked in a tone that Matsuda couldn't place. It took him a moment to realize - Light was holding back a smile. Hearing them, Matsuda couldn't help but feel vindicated at his earlier conclusion; they were in love with each other, and that was as  _ obvious  _ as the fact that the sun rose from the East. Matsuda restrained his smile. 

"I don't think it does, Yagami-Kun," L commented, voice sounding almost… gentle. "After years of believing that I wouldn't meet you until much later; knowing that your mother wouldn't allow you to meet me and I had too many investigations to count - the knowledge that you are  _ here  _ with me, is the only solace I need to solve this case."

Light was silent for a long moment. "Why is it," Light said at last. "That you always know  _ exactly  _ what to say?"

L didn't hesitate. "Because I  _ know _ you, Light Yagami. Sometimes, I think, more than I know myself."

"You know," Light said, apparently collecting himself, though the emotion was still evident in his voice. "I wonder what would have happened if there was no such things as Soulmates. What would have happened if you hadn't talked me down from writing a criminal's name on the Death Note."

Matsuda startled. He knew that Light had come across the notebook on his way going home from school, nothing other than that. He didn't know that Light had been coaxed, himself, into giving up the notebook. 

He shuddered to think what the Death Note would have accomplished in the hands of Light Yagami. He was a  _ genius -  _ he would have known exactly how to hoodwink people into thinking he wasn't Kira, and the Task Force, Matsuda most of all, would have believed him. 

"You would have been a challenge, nothing like the Kira now," L said, words laced with humor. "And I would have  _ loved  _ it."

"In another life, perhaps, I would have enjoyed it too," Light said, laughing, the warmth and affection for L evident in his tone. "Though I prefer this  _ much  _ better."

"Me too." 

Matsuda felt as if he had heard enough. For a moment, he contemplated backing away from the kitchen - but no. He still couldn't get rid of the jittery feeling in his body that only sleep and company and  _ coffee  _ could cure. He walked inside, trying to pretend that he had overheard most of their conversation with each other, walking in on L kissing LIght's cheek as he did. 

Light's face was alight with pleasure, cheeks quickly reddening as he saw Matsuda's entrance. 

L, in contrast, looked quite pleased with himself, and Matsuda couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

(Matsuda had always wanted a Soulmate - someone who could complete him, who would love him as much he loved them. Looking at Light and L, that desire always increased tenfold, the way they navigated around each other something he wished he himself had.)

(But - he could see the way Soichiro Yagami looked at his son, sometimes, as if he never knew him at all, as if he had only ever heard Light's Soulmate was a man and dismissed him afterward. Looking at that, Matsuda never wished he was Light or L at all.) 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are great thanks


End file.
